Looking back: The importance of recognising your wins
As we approach the end of the year we can often become nostalgic, thinking about the things that we lost—pets, places, relationships, etc. We might notice what we’re dissatisfied with, and perhaps we start visualising how we would like things to be next year. We might have some vague, future-focused thoughts about what things could be like, or, if we are particularly motivated, we might set some goals or resolutions for the new year. As I’ve talked about in the past, there is some evidence that habits started at New Year are actually more likely to be successful than those started at other times of the year (even if your lived experience might be contrary to that). While I’m a big advocate for goal-setting, there’s a step you might like to incorporate that can really add value.
Firstly, have you stopped to recognise your success?
What did you do well over the last twelve months? What have you achieved? Maybe you were promoted at work, or you started learning guitar, or you travelled to a new country. Perhaps you established a new habit or tried a new way of doing things. Did you complete Her Foundations? You get to define what counts as an achievement—what is meaningful to you and what adds value to your life.
If you are struggling to identify anything, this might be the result of a cognitive bias known as recency bias. We tend to recall information that is most readily available, which is often our most recent experiences. If things haven’t been going well over the last few weeks or months, it can feel like nothing positive has happened this year. One approach that can help is to consciously step through each month and see what wins you can find. If you’ve kept a diary or journal, go back and read what you wrote earlier in the year.
Another reason you might struggle to recognise achievements—particularly if you are a perfectionist—is the tendency to discount them. For example: I started eating fewer ultra-processed foods… except Christmas parties totally derailed me at the end of the year. Or: I started going to the gym, but it was only one day a week, and I “should” be going three.
If you notice yourself saying “except” or “but,” try shifting your focus to what you did do. Remind yourself that the steps you took moved you closer to your goals than taking no action at all. That one day a week at the gym improved your strength and fitness more than never going. And perhaps the real win was overcoming the anxiety about going to a gym, giving you evidence that you can. When you catch yourself discounting your achievements, ask: What would I say to a friend or a child? Would you tell them their one day a week “didn’t count,” or would you cheer them on for carving out that time and investing in their health?
Celebrating our achievements not only makes us feel good, but the sense of accomplishment can also increase our feelings of agency. It reinforces our beliefs that we can make changes, that we can overcome fears, and that we have the resources—both around us and within us—to achieve our goals, or at the very least to take positive steps in the direction we want to go. By recognising our strengths we can better understand the qualities we can draw on and the approaches we might apply to achieve success with future endeavours.
As you look toward the coming year, I encourage you to take a moment to acknowledge the path you’ve already walked. Notice what you’ve done, not just what you hope to do. Let your past successes—big or small—be the foundation you build on, a quiet reminder of your capacity to change, to grow and to move forward.